The Best Of All Possible Worlds

13 Assassins (2010).

Jidaigeki (samurai film), check.
Crazy director who is no slouch at violence, check.
Cast of new and old faces in Japanese genre films, check.
Respectful remake of classic film, check.
Hits ALL marks that make samurai films compelling, particularly giri/ninjo (duty/conscience) conflicts.
Has TWENTY times the action quotient of recent samurai films like Twilight Samurai or The Hidden Blade, check.
Has flashes of director's trademark grotesquerie and weirdness, check.
Uses real martial arts training scenes and has frightening fight choreography, check.
Awesome Blu-Ray edition, check.

I'll cover this film in more detail after I've composed myself. Nonetheless if one is a fan of samurai or martial arts films in general, RUN, do not walk, to catch this movie. It has been released on home video here in The States.

Shodan It Is.

So I went to the dojo on Thursday night during an aikido class. Much of the sword drills we do are an adjunct of aikido training, so I was thinking it was logical to award me whatever promotion I was getting at that time... and not take up additional karate class when I was tested.

Turns out the weekend test was only part one. On Thursday night I was asked to suit up, and basically work at the head of the aikido class. Additionally there were vocabulary questions (stance/position names mostly) directed to me... and of course plenty more opportunities to screw up. Which I guess didn't happen.

I came away from the class-- and an overall seventy or eighty minutes of testing-- with a shodan, the first rank of black belt.

Oddly, it didn't really click with me. I mean I'm happy I got it of course, but it didn't really register with me as a significant accomplishment. Looking at it, I think there are a number of reasons, it just kind of sucks that they seem to override any sense of personal triumph:

One, I really DON'T put a lot of stock in belts. In 'traditional' sword schools and the branches derived from them, there are no colored belts. The classic sword uniform is a pair of hakama (wide pleated) 'samurai pants, and a white or black kendogi/iaidogi top that resembles a karate gi superficially, but has wider sleeves. The top tucks into the pants and has a four inch wide belt that is wound around the body three times or more. The hakama are then pulled up over the bottom of the jacket AND the belt and has its own set of ties... all to the end of holding the saya (scabbard) very firmly. That wide belt doesn't have different colors depending on your rank... it isn't even usually seen except a tiny bit in the vents at the side of the hakama. All students wear the same belt OR the belt color means nothing depending on the rules of the school. In our class because we are part of a karate school (and for cost reasons) we wear the same gi as the karate classes. Our teachers also feel it is beneficial for us to have belt-indicated ranks the same as the rest of the dojo. It makes us feel part of the organisation and we don't have to just have a white belt on the whole three years it takes to reach black belt. But in my head, even before taking up a sword, I have been conditioned to understand that belt colors are really more guideposts than goals unto themselves. So this black belt is not lacking value to me, but it doesn't represent a specific goal either.

Two, as stated in an earlier post, getting a black belt in many ways is the beginning of your training. It is an old maxim that the more you know, the more you know you don't know... or something like that. I feel the additional learning and the increased responsibility in a more profound way than I do the accomplishment.

Three, I don't really feel I deserved it. I am absolutely not able to second-guess my instructors, but as most of us tend to be, I am most critical of myself. And I just see all the work I need to do, not what I've done.

Four, there are who have been in this class longer than I have that are now all ranked lower than myself. I feel incredibly awkward to be in this position. I am empathetic to their having been passed by. I have had a class session now with this rank, and the students there were congratulatory and all that, but none of them were the ones with significant seniority. I know this isn't my 'fault' or anything that I really should be concerned with, but my empathy still makes this tense for me. This aspect of my ambivalence towards my belt will be cured with time as we all settle into the new order... but it is still pretty uncomfortable right now.

A lot of what got me my promotion I think, is what westerners would call 'spirit'. Basically, I'm the only student who acts like they would take a sword or a stick in a confrontation, not totally panic or spaz out, and kill or injure someone to protect myself.... or rather I'm the closest to that. I'm not technically perfect, I'm not imbued with an icy calm. I think my instructors can just see flashes of that, so there's a path there that I've been set upon now.

Some people might say my reaction to my belt is actually the correct one. The Japanese themselves would probably say my attitude is proper. Grateful, but not feeling worthy. People around me, that I've told about the promotion, don't really get it. They understand my reasoning, but they think I should just put that aside, and 'enjoy the moment' or something like that. My attitude towards this isn't any kind of put-on or false humility and nobody has suggested that either.

When I was in my last class I saw myself in a dojo mirror with the black belt on for the first time. It did look good. I had to get a longer belt and the one shihan traded out for me fits exactly right. Seeing myself like that there was some... I dunno... 'satisfaction' or something. A quiet something, but it felt pretty good.

Like EVENTUALLY I will get used to this.

No Samurai, Me.

Had a belt test for iaido/akiken last weekend.

I’m not sure exactly how I did. I know I’ve been promoted, but the test took place during a karate class, so there wasn’t time for the head of our dojo and my instructor to confer. The actual ‘award’ was put off ‘til tonight. I don’t know whether I’ve moved up another kyu rank in the brown belt range or up to shodan, the first black belt rank. I know the latter was the goal the dojo head (shihan) was hoping for. I won’t know until after work whether I actually measured up that or not.

I don’t actually test very well. I have a severe nervousness problem. It seems to have nothing to do with how well I know the material. I could know the moves sleepwalking, yet when I have to perform in front of a group (or even be on-the-spot for just the sensei or shihan) my heart pounds and my stomach liquefies. This test was in front of the entire school and went on for about forty minutes. It alternated between the kata that just the aikiken class knows (mostly the seitei) and waza that the karate class is learning (Toyama-ryu battodo). The class participated along with me in the batto drills, but I was still at the front. It was really nerve-racking.

The funny part is that I don’t really have nerves getting up in front of people in other circumstances. Leading a meeting or making a speech doesn’t give me trouble. I’m not sure what it is about martial arts testing that makes me so self-conscious and nervous. I want to do well, sure. Everyone does. I don’t believe getting belts is the goal of martial arts, so if I ‘fail’ it isn’t like it’d change anything or cause me to quit.

The same thing happens to me at tournaments. I don’t freeze up, but I get really awkward and stiff, hesitant even… and it can be really obvious. I tend to be confident in most other situations, so this is really, glaringly, uncharacteristic of me. I didn’t do well, in my opinion, though shihan was complementary of me…. And I do know I got some form of promotion.

We have over time had some of our higher-ranking students drop from class so we are without a dan-ranked (black belt) student. Our shihan really wants to have a black belt back in there. On the point of technical proficiency (if I’m not being watched) I’m probably in the ballpark. But much of the point of earning a rank is that you can perform the material in any circumstance, from a cold start if necessary. I obviously have trouble in a certain situation—being under a critical eye. Typically repetition, training, training, training, is the answer to most of the issues and hurdles for practitioners. The idea is to get your body to the point that it has memorized the techniques pretty much without your mind being involved. And your mind is able to utilize mushin and just tune everything else out. I’m not sure repetition will get me to mushin. I’m not sure what will. This appears to be deeply rooted problem in my confidence. I never get a chance to breathe, relax, and move with a no-mind mushin state because as soon as the test starts, the relaxation becomes impossible.

It may be purely a confidence thing. Although I don’t get nervous in the literal sense playing video games, there can often be a huge difference in how well I play a game AFTER I’ve beaten it. Like there’s a surety of play when you know there’s nothing in the game that you can’t get past. This might be something like that. Although I put no stock in getting a black belt for myself, and I certainly don’t see that as the goal of my training, there may be a part of myself emotionally that will settle the fuck down after I have my black belt. A confidence that comes with having gotten ‘all the way through it’.

Contrary to popular belief, a black belt is not any sign of mastery. It is a symbol that a martial arts student is ready to begin his REAL training. That he has the fundamentals down and can perform them correctly, consistently, with confidence. A dan rank is just the first step towards truly learning one’s art. Most martial arts would probably not consider a practitioner as being a ‘master’ (if that word can really mean anything when the master himself usually doesn’t consider himself such) until they are up into the sixth dan and beyond. Normally you can’t lead a class on your own until you are fourth or fifth dan.

The nervousness I’m describing is really common in martial arts. Maybe not as crippling for most people as it is for me. But tests and tournaments both engender fear and anxiety that is necessary for growth I think. Martial arts are supposed to be training you to react to dangerous, even life-threatening situations… in addition to their other benefits. A dojo is hard-pressed to accurately simulate the emotional side of a dangerous encounter. You always know your instructor or fellow students do not want to injure you. There will never be a lethal weapon actually wielded against you. Even in the so-called reality training classes, lawsuits and civility mean you wear lots of protective gear when weapons or actual striking are brought into play. The fear preceding a test or tournament is a way of feeling something akin to combat fear. Like warriors preparing for a battle, you want to ‘survive’ (do well) and not ‘die’ (embarrass yourself). And wow, when you suck during these times, you’ll almost wish you DID die. Death in a test or tournament is really a long drawn-out affair as you walk back off the floor, everyone’s eyes on you (or obviously trying NOT to look at you!).

I’m not hopeful for a shodan rank. Given the black belt criteria I gave above, I do not meet that standard. I am unable to perform consistently. It would be interesting to know if I’d be just as awkward in a dangerous sword encounter… not that that will actually happen in this day and age. The times I’ve actually been in a fight (or close to getting in one) in real life, I did NOT feel this way. Adrenalin pumping readiness, yes. Bowel-loosening fear, no. So there may be enough of a difference between potential combat and a test that my mind actually divides the emotional nuance really clearly. Or maybe it is just that in a fight I’ve never felt all that threatened.

All I can do is continue to train.

Battojutsu!

The head of our dojo, in the last couple of months, has really been emphasising sword work. Normally I attend a once-a-week iaido (aiki-ken more precisely) class, while the rest of my family are in their karate class. Then one or two other nights a week I go down to the dojo and practice what I learned. Up to this point, we've memorised:

seven basic cutting drills (suburi),
an eight-direction cutting drill (happo-giri),
a footwork drill (happo-undo),
two partner exercises (kumitachi),
ten 'official' kata (the seitei series)
two jodo kata (18step, and one from kenshin-ryu)
various other waza or parts thereof.

Now my regular instructor for all of this is not the head of the school, but when that head (shihan) wants to get all into sword work, not only do you let him, but if he is doing something different than your regular class you can bet he's going to expect your class to get on board. So he has been acclimating the karate regulars to eight basic Toyama-ryu batto drills, and we've got to incorporate them. I don't mind, but I don't really remember the last time I actually had to really stretch to memorise in a martial arts class. But I sure do now. Not least because none of us in MY class have that much direct exposure. I will persevere.

Remember, its supposed to be fun, but its still work.

Martial Arts and Me

I have a long on-again off-again affair with the martial arts. Through my late teenage and young adult years I was a student of Shudokan, an Okinawan style of karate-do that descends through Toyama Kanken. When I moved away from my hometown, I didn’t pick it up again. It isn’t like the style is taught all that many places and I just never acclimated to the idea of having to re-learn or restart in a new style, though there are other Okinawan and Japanese styles having much in common with Shudokan.

Moving back, for reasons both complicated and expired, I had again enrolled with my old instructor. This time my family attends as well. They are taking karate-do and doing all the things I remember from my youth.

I flirted a bit with iaido (iaijutsu to some) before moving back, and as luck would have it there is an instructor for Japanese sword at our dojo. So instead of karate, I’m enrolled in aikiken, the sword forms created as an adjunct to aikido training, with our sensei adding more traditional iaido and battojutsu forms and the standard seitei kata.

Sword training isn’t directly practical for self-defense in the same way karate is. If you aren’t living in the Highlander TV show you probably aren’t carrying a sword around with you day and night, ready to duel at the drop of a hat. The training CAN be applied to improvised weapons like broomsticks and pool cues, but much of our work focuses on drawing and sheathing, which is completely unnecessary with a stick you grabbed in a bar.

The training is more about overcoming mental barriers. The adversary in this case being one’s self as all the martial arts maxims term it. But with more focus on this particular conflict than against another outside oppenent. It requires focus, dedication, patience, observation, and stamina. Improving these things would, of course, make you better able to handle dangerous situations. Physically-speaking, the improvements in your arm strength, agility, reaction time, and perception of maai (the time/distance combat interval) would all be a great advantage as well. Because I already have some karate training, I’m finding that iaido does a lot to hone the aspects of combat that are much harder to explain or get an easy grasp of.

Japanese and Okinawan karate teach you to be mentally defensive (never be the initiator) but once ‘it’s on’ they are an aggressive, offense-oriented approach. Get in quick, dispatch with a one-hit one-kill mentality, get out. And my iaido training hasn’t really changed that, but it does make me understand more about how the approach to get in works, how to view a weapon in the hands of an opponent (assuming you see it ahead of time), and how to really get into zanshin (awareness/readiness) from a daily repose-state as opposed to firmly planting your feet, going to fighting stance and readying a kiai—or maybe actually busting loose with one!

I’ve read a lot of comments from various instructors about supplementary martial arts training. The majority seem to think additional instruction is fine after one has a good solid grounding in their primary art. Commonly iaido is taken along with another more practical, popular system. There is much that is different in iaido that will require some arduous unlearning if you are enrolled in another art, but I think there is an advantage to having experience in another system, owing both to the self-defense being taught there and the ability to see the deeper aspects that iaido training sooner and with more clarity because martial arts movement, etiquette, terms, and traditions are already fundamental and not cluttering up the new learning your doing in iaido class.

Now don’t get me wrong. You are practicing slicing open someone’s abdomen. You are practicing bring the sword down a direct kill shot bisecting their head. In the best iaido classes these are not taught abstractly. Part of the function of iaido is to hone your clarity and calm in a threatening situation. Nothing is more threatening than the idea of someone pushing the edge of a three foot piece of steel through something vital. After a certain amount of experience it is practiced with an iaito, a metal (though blunted) sword, the use of which carries risks. But is also fun. You are trying to put on the mentality of the samurai. If you are a fan of jidaigeki (sword drama in Japanese) as I am, this can be a really big thrill… and quite enlightening as you learn which aspects of cinema swordfighting are really practical and which are just for the camera.
So good stuff. Not sure how much I will actually blog on this particular aspect of my life since growth is slow, and it is all rather internal. No belts given really. If I had to give myself a rank, I’m probably 1st kyu, the equivalent of a brown belt in most karate styles. There are tournaments for it, but not really where I live. I will probably spend more writing time on the aforementioned jidaigeki or other martial arts films, and general martial arts comments and observations. That will change of course if I ever accidentally stab myself or another student. Then I’m sure I’ll have to write about it.